Seas would rise when I gave the word...

So the title has nothing to do with anything that will be in this post, but I'm listening to Viva La Vida by Coldplay right now, so yeah.

[ rant ]

I've come to realize that, I'm not the typical lovey, mushy relationship type of person. Like, I am capable of being in a romantic relationship, but I can't be that person to constantly use pet names, be all over each other all the time, lovey dovey omg baby this baby that...type of person. That just isn't me. Of course, I can be loving and caring, but I'm not THAT girl. It doesn't seem necessary to me. I'm not a two year old, don't talk to me in a baby voice, it makes me feel stupid. If you MUST call me a name such as 'baby' or anything along those lines, do not say it as if you're talking to an actual infant. I'm not trying to sound cold or anything, it just makes me feel uncomfortable and I find it rather sickening.

This guy I met the other day, it's really strange. Within the first 20 minutes of meeting me, you're asking me if I would want to be your girlfriend, okay...um...WHAT? And the day after you have me speak to your mother...and you're 23 years of age...then you're asking me if you can kiss me...and still asking if I'd consider being your girlfriend. First of all, NO you cannot kiss me, I do not know you like that, I've known you for barely 24 hours, I don't know anything about you and I'm not comfortable with you...AND you know nothing about me...my physical appearance apparently is what you like. For all he knows I can be some crazy psychopathic chick who will stalk him. Like, for serious bro? In accordance to the first paragraph...he is JUST that...the whole pet name calling, touchy feely, clingy person...at least this is what he's shown me so far. We were supposed to hang out last Thursday and I called him Wednesday night after I was assigned a paper and I told him I wouldn't be able to hang out because I had work to do, which wasn't a lie and he was rushing me off the phone and telling me he'd call me back so I left it at that. He didn't call me back that night and I can honestly say I was relieved.

So I get back from White Plains on Saturday and he calls, at first I thought about not answering, but I figured that's rude so I answered. His tone was completely different this call and I was like "Hm okay maybe he's not that bad." He pretty much tells me I'm too busy for him, I have too many excuses, I have to make time for him, he doesn't know if I like him...blah blah. Right okay...I apologize if I have some type of life, college is my top priority at the moment...sorry if I have homework and can't tend to your lust. I don't have to do anything, because...I DO NOT KNOW YOU....in the sense that...I just met you, what makes you so sure you are entitled to anything from me? You knew from the start that I was in school the majority of the week for an extensive amount of time each day....and NO I don't like you. What the hell is this like...seriously? Okay you show interest in me without really knowing me, so that means I should like you back just like that? Not at all kid. Yes, I call him a kid. Then what made me laugh a lot, he says "You know, a lot of people like me. I'm not trying to make you jealous or anything but there are a lot of people interested in me, but I'm interested in you right now." HAHA okay reverse psychology? Really? Did I NOT tell you I'm a Psychology major? Doesn't work on me kiddo. I'm supposed to jump all over that? Like seriously, that doesn't make me the slightest bit jealous, because there are no feelings there. If other people are interested in you, that's WONDERFUL...you're not gonna trick me into rushing things because there are other girls out there, if that's even true. And he's "interested" in me "right now" Okay well right now will pass, then it'll be "then" and he'll be interested in something else. Come on kid, I'm not one of these stupid chicken heads, I have a brain and I see through retarded games.

Now, my dilemma...being the nice person that I am, even though he's already irritated me. He got really excited because I said I had Tuesday off so he's like "So you'll meet me somewhere and we'll hang out?!" and I'm like "Sure..." now...I don't know what to do with this kid...I'm not gonna sit there and let him stare in my face and ask me stupid questions. So I figured I'd ask if he wanted to go to the movies or something? I don't know, the only decent movie that's out seems to be Taken, it sounds pretty interesting so hopefully he'll be up for that because I honestly don't know what to do. And because I am actually a nice person, I don't know how to let him down gently. My heart is in an entirely different place and with an entirely different person. Someone who like me, isn't too keen on the whole mushy gushy stuff, but can still be in a relationship. I didn't know I was in this for some weird right off the bat long term relationship, I guess people don't wait to actually become some one's friend first...and I don't like to hurt people's feelings so I don't know how to tell him that I don't like him, I don't want to be in a relationship with him and he comes on way too strong and he should fix that for future experiences. I feel like something like that would make him sad or cry or something. I don't know! Ack, he's already irrational and unpredictable...so like...can you just imagine if there was a relationship and I broke it off...I don't even wanna think about that.

[ / rant ]



ANYWAY...haha so aside from that drama, this has nothing to do with the story above...you know how you have stupid little crushes and what not? Well I definitely have one on my friend from school haha it's kinda funny idk, I don't usually crush, ever. I don't even know if this is just a crush or if I like him, but whatever. I think it's so interesting how your body and mind react to certain people. I'm obviously not good at hiding this fact, because people seem to notice in my gestures, body movements, and facial expressions when he comes around. Usually I don't feel nervous at all around him and I still don't. Today, however when he came into the station my heart was racing, I couldn't understand it lol. It was just like like whoaaaaaa haha. Usually I just smile a lot, especially when we hug. I'm surprised he didn't feel my heart beating so fast when we hugged today. That was new...anyway, I digress.


I'm sleepy, this was a long post, but that's good because I usually suck at keeping up these blog/journal things. So there's something recent in here. I guess tomorrow we'll see what happens with this overly affectionate kid in which was the subject of my rant. I'll laugh if he doesn't even call, but I feel like he won't forget lol. I don't knowwww though so I'll definitely be updating about that, and if we do hang out tomorrow, those details will surely be in here. I should start on some homework, or some research for the million and one presentations I have coming up this semester, but...sleep sounds much better right now. Ciao.

Ear stuffs. =)