blackberry curve...winter break...twilight saga...weird dreams.

Hello hello hello, it's been a while.

Let's see, I just got off the phone with Leonardo from Mississippi after trying to fix my stupid phone's MMS messaging for the passed two hours or so, but that's nothing compared to the 3 days I spent talking to Sarah from Alabama...well it works again for now so I guess that's good...T-Mobile should pay me for all the phones I've had from them...including replacements...sigh. All of my phones should be free lol.

So I have about a month until I go back to school which I thought would be cool, I mean it is cause it's work free but I'm so bored!! I've been drawing and coloring, maybe if I get to the depths of boredom I'll take pictures of the work and post em on here they're pretty sick I must say. I did all the titles of the Twlight saga including Midnight Sun and then ones I did last night say Comedy & Tragedy with the little faces and another that says Love & Hate with a heart and then a skull and crossbone with a pink bow on its head. =)

Speaking of the Twilight saga, I'm almost done with Breaking Dawn...naturally I would've been done but I make myself stop reading after a while so it lasts a little longer because I don't want it to end lol. I'll probably finish it sometime today though and I'll eventually reread them all. =) Yeah I'm a loser but I never liked book series this much.

I think I'm gonna start logging my dreams because they're all weird. None of them are like just normal dreams or happy dreams. I always wake up like......WHAT? lol. The pregnancy dreams kil me I'm just like wtf? all the time. The last dream I remember, wasn't a pregnancy one but instead I was on some train going who knows where with kids from school and someone had a freaking mini pet bull with like mexican decorations on its horns and my stupid ass went to pet it like a dog and it had human teeth and bit me....? I was like "Son of a bitch" and hit it ontop of its head lol...with me was a cold pot of rice...and I was like I have to make sure I bring this home... and I end up forgetting it on the train and I'm like ah I'm gonna get in trouble...so weird...then I start fighting with my friend's girlfriend cause she was being an ultra big cunt to him. I guess that part isn't too weird cause I always wanna bitch her out when she's being a cunt.

And yeah...dunzo for now, ciao.

....

Ya know what....fuck that. If people wanna fuck up their own shit and not care how it affects anyone else then I'm not gonna care either. I'm not gonna waste my time being sad over other people's bullshit no matter how close they are to me.

Distracting myself from being destructive again...

I seriously think I have slight ESP...and I'm not joking or just a very strong intuition...I had a feeling someone was doing something they shouldn't be...even though I thought we resolved it a while ago...just today...and what the fuck do you know? They were...or are...and I've come to the point where I'm done. Extremely done and it fucking sucks because I need to go away from this and I have no where to go...

Just so I don't ramble on let me just say this...the Twilight saga is probably the most amazing series out there in my opinion...that I've read. I really liked Twilight when I was done that it made me want to read New Moon...I read New Moon and though a lot of people didn't like the fact that the story was dragged out longer than it should've been I thought it was necessary for the suspense at the book's end...I bought Eclipse and Breaking Dawn and I just finished reading Eclipse after starting it yesterday....the book had a bunch of different points that made me laugh out loud and I love that. I love that I can visualize what's going on in the story and I love how the story can pull me in and make me want to keep reading...I'm resisting the urge to open up Breaking Dawn because even though I'm eager to read it, I'm sad it's the last of the series. I don't know if it's the finale book of the Twilight saga or not but it's the last one that's out now and I don't want it to end...so I stopped myself from starting it today and I told myself I would study for my psychology final on Monday...and I have yet to study. The book is sitting on my bed and I am sitting here across the room avoiding it...as much as I do wanna open it and start reading.

I'm doing this blog post because I need to distract myself from self compusting...I wanna run outside and do anything that'll take away the hurt I feel because someone I thought I could trust over anyone else hurt me...and I don't think I can forgive them anymore...

No it's not a romantic loved one but someone more important...and I can't even begin to imagine how they can't even care that I'm hurt and don't care what they're doing does to me...I just can't even believe that they could be so stupid...I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm hurt and I wish I could just slap that person but I won't because I'm not violent and I'm better than that. I want to get away and I will get away.

I wanna run outside and get mind blowingly drunk so that even though it won't go away, I can forget it for now...maybe I'll get hit by a car...that'll make things easier I don't need to be here anymore...there's no point...

Armageddon...Twilight

Holy...shit. Okay so yeah call me crazy but I had never seen the move Armageddon until today. It's been out since 1998 and people have said it was a good movie but I never took the time to watch it until right before this posting....can I just say they did not lie at all? That movie was ridiculously intense it had me at the edge of my seat and I cried! When Harry Stamper (Bruce Willis) chooses to stay behind and blow up the astroid...meteor whatever it is and he pushes AJ (Ben Affleck) back into the shuttle...um cried...serious moment there...then when he's talking to his daughter Grace (Liv Tyler)...um cried...wow...amazing movie. Definitely on my list of favorites now. Ontop of that, the fact that the like...song of the movie is "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith makes things 20 times better. That song is one of my ABSOLUTE favorites of all time. Sigh...good stuff.

Anyway, Twilight, after watching the movie, which I enjoyed, I decided to pick up the book to read considering people think the book is much better. I'm not completely done but I can see why people who were fan of the books first are disappointed in the movie. There's so many details and things left out of the movie that would've been nice to see. I do like this book and I'm sad it's coming to an end lol I'll have to pick up New Moon soon so I can continue. People say the second one is a slow start but the ending is really good and yeah I don't know how I feel about that yet but I do want to read all four books. It would be sweet if I could have the Twilight Saga hardcover box set because the books are ridiculously beautiful to me, but it's expensive lol. I have a mini paper back version of Twilight with Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart on the cover, but it's all good. (It's actually the movie poster) The original art covers are marvelous in my opinion so it would've been awesome to have those, but I'll deal with what I can get. =)

Dunzo for now, ciao.

Enjoy this awesomeness that is a song.

You're like my own personal brand of heroin...

Hello there, it's been a while...well the semester is almost over, there are technically like three or four more days of classes left, it's kinda crazy. It feels like it just started. I'll miss my wccr boys during the break, hopefully I'll get to see some of them during that time.

I just watched Zack and Miri Make a Porno, it was kind of a dumb romantic comedy, kinda lame but a few parts made me laugh. Seriously the guys who make the movies like that and Superbad, Knocked Up and 40 Year Old Virgin need to step it up badly. There are only so many times you can say the word "fuck" before it starts getting annoying. And all those movies have way too many sexual references and what not. I don't mind sex or sex talk but let's keep it classy here people.

Also, I just watched Twilight. Now I must say I really did enjoy it and I kinda understand why every female who knows of Edward Cullen is strangely in love with him. Charming, really. Now, I haven't read the book yet and I know people who have were somewhat disappointed in the movie. I still want to read the book, the whole series actually, however, getting them at the library is a mission impossible, literally. Let's just talk about how there are currently 1,642 holds on Twilight, 600 on New Moon, 514 on Eclipse and 714 on Breaking Dawn. This is not even normal and is a little outrageous. It's a popular series, especially now with all the movie hype but holy shit. There's really no point in requesting them, at this rate I'll read them when my great great great grandchildren are graduating from college. Funny, before the whole movie thing (sometime last year), all of these books (besides Breaking Dawn since it was just released) were available at the library, at my finger tips and I put them all on my list of books to read but ended up never taking them out. Bummer. Now, I guess I could always buy them, but that's $83+ worth of paper...ouch. I guess it won't seem as bad if I buy them individually and spaced out over time...we'll see.

I really should get out some feelings in this little dilemma I'm having but I rather not disclose THAT on this blog...it just wouldn't be right...sigh.

Anyway, it's about 2:30 and I'm rather sleepy so I will end it here. I'll try not to be so lame and update this more often, I told myself that if I made a blogspot blog, I'd actually write in it and not abandon it like my multiple xangas...ciao darlings.

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Really not in the Thanksgiving mood...

My mom is still in the hospital and they're keeping here there so that completely blows...but as long as she gets better is all I'm concerned about.

I'm probably just gonna stay home today and do some school work, maybe clean up the house a bit, idk...

I hope everyone enjoys their holiday.
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Sigh...

Blahhhh, I got a call this afternoon as I was going to my World Humanities class and my mom was having an asthma attack and the ambulance was called...so I left school, missed 3 classes...and I get home and she's better...so I thought it was okay.

She gets a call from my sister, and this girl that my sister let stay at her house for a little over 6 months or so fucking broke into the house because she wasn't paying any of the rent she agreed to so my sister pretty much told her to get her stuff and she didn't even care about the money because it was pointless at this point and so when my mom went to go pick my sister and niece up so they could go buy my niece a birthday present cause her birthday was yesterday the girl pretty much went into the house and trashed the whole thing and stole my niece's laptop...so they're dealing with that....that pretty much upset my mom which triggered another asthma attack so I just called the ambulance and they took her to the hospital this time...I hope she's okay...she hasn't been feeling well for the passed week or so and the asthma really isn't helping anything.

I just got a call from one of my classmates, James. He called because he heard my mom was in the hospital and it seriously was really sweet of him. I feel bad cause I kinda rushed him off the phone because I started crying and I hate when people see or hear me cry...blahh...this is such a fucked up start to the holidays...I'm dunzo for now...I just had to do something contructive...because I really had the urge to be destructive at this point...whatev, ciao.

Testing...

I'm just checking out this mail-to-blogger thing via my blackberry...

I finally finished my last paper for Psych 102 today, woohoo. Well technically yesterday since it's 2:40AM. I have another paper due for the 2nd part of FIQWS due tomorrow and it isn't done, or started for that matter, thus, I'm skipping that part of the class to work on it. Anyway, I need to get up in the morning...ciao#
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Another funny...

Hahaha watch these girls' reaction to David Cook being crowned the next American Idol.

Hahaha...

This seriously entertained me. Lmao @ Justin.

La...la...la...

So tonight is the TRL Finale episode, and I guess all I have to say is, it's about time. They've resulted to half the shows not even being live at all, so yeah all's well that ends well. I'm waiting for Backstreet's performance cause, that's pretty much all I wanna see. I've been going into the living room back and forth for short glimpses. I remember the couple of times that I've been on TRL, cool stuff I suppose. Well not ON it, but you know, in the studio so of course I was on camera a few times. I never managed to look cute on there haha, oh well.

Uh, let's see...I took the second psychology test on Friday and I forgot my fucking clicker. You know the thing we use to take tests, quizzes and attendance...blah. It's my fault for being negligent and forgetful really. Thursday I went into for a WCCR tabeling so we could promote our jam session on Friday and I had a purse. Fridays I bring a purse instead of my bookbag, so I just switched everything from one purse to another and didn't touch my bookbag at all which is where my clicker usually stays. Lame...whatever, it's over and done with and I'll just have to deal with the 5 points taken off. I hope I did well on it though, I'm waiting for Noah to post the grades. Usually he's quick with that sort of stuff, but he hasn't yet. Oh well, hopefully sometime this week they'll be up.

I think it's kinda ridiculous that I have a crush on someone...crush, I don't do those...I'm not in elementary school. In my defense, it's not one of those like omg omg yay i love you marry me crushes haha...cause that'd just be sad, it's more like...um, you're cute, you make me laugh, yum yum I want you. haha...whatever.

Um, I registerd for classes last Monday. I'm taking Intro to Spanish, figured I'd start off my language requirement, considering I need 4 stupid semesters of it. I'm taking Speech, decided to get it out of the way, another requirement. Intro to Theater Arts, which sounds interesting and I'm hoping it is. Finally, Psychology of Infancy & Childhood. Let's hope it's a good semester. I know there'll be some fun with WCCR's events. We have a couple coming up and I'm looking forward to them. =]

Anywayyy, I don't know what else to write here. I'm tired of my web discourse and world humanities classes. The end. Ciao.

Pop champagne ohhhh...

Yooo, haven't posted in a few days and I felt like I should. Actually, for my Web Discourse class for paper 2 we have an option to blog about a topic of our choice and I chose to blog about being a teen alcohol and whilst starting the blogs via Microsoft Works cause I rather not post it online and offend anyone under false pretences, I realized, shit I have my own blog. So here I am, working on the blogs and listening to some musica. I'm trying to think of a way to make it extremely dramatic and what not so they'd be like holy shit, when it's done. I'm really not looking forward to the part where I have to write two pages analyzing it, cause the book we're using in class for it is seriously lame. James Paul Gee, sucks, hands down.

Haha so apparently my friend realized about 2/3 weeks ago that I have a crush on this kid (both people will remain nameless)...when I just realized it yesterday! haha I was like "dude...how did you even know?" and he's just like "I'm observant." ha, insane.

Soo tonight, Raposo is playing at Blaggard's for the third time and you know what that means? Ironically, considering the first paragraph of this post, haha Blaggard's means drinksss. Should be fun, hopefully, cause technically I'll be going alone, we'll see who decides to talk to me when I arrive. Anyway yeah just figured I'd give a little update. Have a good weekend kids.

This is a mark in American history...

Ladies and Gentlemen, your new president is...

BARACK OBAMA 2008.

I think it's safe to say that I'm a little excited. This is the first year I've been able to vote and my candidate of choice won. I feel like I did something good in life. Like I accomplished something, so that makes me feel good about myself. I will say this, I do respect John McCain for the speech he gave congratulating President Obama. One thing he said that I actually admired was "This is my failure, not yours." I think that was extremely big of him. I am estatic he lost, not because I think he's a bad person or anything, but his choice for vice president was horrible. I'm so glad that ding dong will not be in office. She can stay in Alaska where her people really didn't even want her.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry or both, this really is a celebratory moment. There are people screaming and cheering outside, there are fireworks or fire crackers going off left and right. It can't be legal but I don't mind it because I can feel the excitement of others and that makes me smile. It feels like New Years and the Fourth of July all on the same night and it's an interesting feeling. We all voted for change and this is just the beginning of an interesting ride.

Viva Obama.

PS. I can't think of a relevant song to post so here's a random one.

Sing to me the plans that you have for me over again...

Monday morning I was walking to the M8 bus and this spanish man with a walker stops me and asks where Astor Place is and how he can get there. He wasn't an old man so I instantly wondered, what was wrong with him and for what reason did he need this walker. I tell him how to get there via walking and he says "I have an ulcer, I can't walk there." and so I understood. I told him he could get on the M8 and take it to fourth avenue. He thanks me and I proceed across the street to wait for the bus, I turn my iPod on and go about my morning, or so I thought. As I'm standing there I see this man in my peripheral vision and he stops near me and sits on the walker (it was one of those with the seats attached) and he looks at me and starts talking. So I shut my iPod off and I asked him what it was he said and from that moment on I learned stuff about him you wouldn't generally learn about someone in the first 20 minutes or so of meeting them. I learned that since he has an ulcer his intestines are all screwed up and his bowel movements can't exactly be controlled or held for that matter. He tells me this brief story of how a few days ago he was trying to keep it in until he got to his apartment but it just wasn't going to happen. It was at night and apparently no one was really around so he had to squat between a car and a motorcycle. He continued with "I'm not a homophobic, you like what you like." and then told me how a visibly "butch" woman saw him and said "I should kick you in the face." to which he responded with the likes of "Of all I've been through, you're going to kick me in the face?" he then told her if she kicked him in the face he'd grab her by her scrawny neck and shove her into the pile he just left on the street and she'd be wearing it as make up. Just to emphasize his anger he followed with "If you're going to look and talk to me like a man, I'm gonna treat and kick your ass like a man." or something of that nature. I honestly didn't think it was necessary for her to say she should kick him in the face, of course someone defacating on the street would catch me off guard and turn me off as well but you never know what someone is going through. I learned that he's been shot about 10 times throughout his life, there were wound scars on his hands and arms of which I could see. He was on various drugs for a while. After his brother died he became an alcoholic but has been through counseling and rehab for his alcohol and substance abuse. He asked me if I was on my way to work and I told him that I wasn't, I was actually on my way to school. He asked what I studied and I told him I was hoping to get a Psychology degree. "That's good, a lot of money." he said. After that he told me about how he met his second wife, apparently she was one of his counselors during his alcohol and drug addiction and even though it was against the rules, they fell in love. They went to Vegas and got married then skinny dipped and partied with a bunch of people afterwards. Now of course I don't know if any of this is made up, it could very well be, but for whatever reason I kept talking to this man, well I kept listening to him. As the bus was approaching I thought our conversation was over and he started moving towards the back of the bus so the driver could let him up on the backdoor lift. I got onto the bus and took my usual seat up front. When he was on the bus and situated he signaled me over. Any normal person would've ignored it and stayed put but for some reason I got up and I sat next to him. I don't wanna say I felt bad for him because I don't think he was looking for pity in any way, I just think he needed someone to talk to and I didn't mind being that person even if it was for the short amount of time it was. Somtimes all someone needs is to just let it all out and all they want is someone to listen to them. I gave him some input where I felt necessary but other than that I let him talk. He told me that he thought it was hard to meet people nowadays and I told him that I think some people set their standards way too high to make it impossible to meet anyone and that people are extremely too superficial. Listening to him I got a little sad and all I did was want to give him a hug but I refrained, I thought that would be a little weird. While he spoke I noticed a hint of sadness and hurt in his pretty light brown/hazel eyes. As we approached my stop he asked me my name and I told him. "Olivia? That's nice." he said. I asked his name and he told me it was Anzel (I don't know if I'm spelling that right) and that it was a Jewish name. "If I was born during the Holocaust, Hitler would've thrown me in the oven." which I actually did laugh at because he was reinacting what that scene would've been like "No!" he would shout "I'm Puerto Rican! I speak Spanish!" and then he said something in Spanish that I can't remember and it was honestly funny the way he joked about it. "Well, we'll probably see eachother again." he told me and I smiled and nodded. The bus came to my stop and he wished me a good day and I returned it. He was honestly a very nice guy, with problems of course, but a genuinely nice person. I hope I do see him again, just so I know he's doing okay. This short but healthy conversation I had with him reassured me that Psychology is the career path that I want to be in. Not because it's financially rewarding but I love the idea of trying to help people in anyway that I can. With small problems, with big problems, medical problems...if I can't physically do something I'm there to listen. Sometimes all you need is someone to talk to.

Wherever you are Anzel, take care buddy.


This song is in one of my favorite movies of all time "A Walk To Remember" and I love it, it's stuck in my head and I guess it's necessary.

Me step inna di club, a dance rub a dub...

So SMC's halloween party was funnnnn while it lasted, I ended up leaving a little early cause someone was pissing me off and my friends wanted to go...oh well. I had some fun. Danced so much my legs are sore! haha it's all good though, it was a good time. Looking forward to next year's halloween party. =] Don't really have many pictures from the party, but that's okay.

Apparently WCCR has this One Love Unity fest that celebrates all cultures, and it's a party, and I'm kinda excited for that cause this time I'll get to be part of it. =] It's in April though, so far, but def something like look forward to.

I'm pretty tired. I read half of Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston today for World Humanities. I hate that class, but I will admit this is so far the better of the 8 books we have to read this semster. The first four were not good at all. I actually just got done watching the ABC movie version of it starring Halle Berry. It was pretty good I suppose. I'll use that just in case I don't really feel like finishing the book, but it's not that bad at all.

Class all day tomorrow and I should go to sleep, but I think I'll make some tea and watch a movie. Ciao.

Here's a song. It's the first one I remember dancing to Friday night. I have no clue what the other ones were =] I was a bit intoxicated.

Rock and roll hey, don't you know baby...

Salsa Mambo's Halloween party is tonightttt, woohoo. I'm ready to party. The only thing I'm not looking forward to is actually getting everyone together cause people are usually late or not ready and blah blah blah, but we'll see how we pull this off.
Ugh I'm starvingggg I just bought some pasta and now I'm waiting for the water to boil, which it should hurry because I actually should be getting ready right now. This should be fun, hopefully...we'll see. I'll update tomorrow sometime.

Blahh I have to start my psych paper that is due Monday, good luck to me. ha.

Let's see, nothing much has been up, hung out with Tina, Mike, and Mark last weekend that was fun. We played this drinking game, kind of like "I Declare War" but instead, whoever threw down the lowest card had to take a shot of vodka or rum and whoever threw down a joker, everyone else had to take a shot. It was fun. The pictures around the post are from that night, it's not all of them, but the ones I like.

Ugh [rant] I somehow gained my freshman 15, fuck you weight. I think I know why though, because since I barely eat regular food anymore I have to rely on the venting machine crap and that's all horrible stuff....blahh... [/rant]

So random, but I've been having such weird pregnancy dreams. Like I think four in total and I don't even get itttt. The first three were a while ago. The first was, I was at a Raposo show and I was in the bathroom looking at my belly in the mirror and my belly button kept popping out? And like some friends were like "You're pregnant" and I was like "...WHAT?" and someone said something about how when they were pregnant their belly button popped out...strange. The second, apparently I lived in like a Target or Walgreens or something and my room was this HUGE aisle of pregnancy tests and I kept taking them (I don't know how I managed to pee so much) and they all had big bold red plus signs on them and I was running all through the store screaming. The third dream, I was actually trying to breast feed a baby?!...yeah...if you're thinking 'wtf?'..I thought so too. And the final one was like two nights ago, I could actually feel my uterus like getting bigger and my abdomen started to stick out and I could feel something moving inside me, such freaky shit. I wonder what they mean??

Anyway, I'm gonna go check to see if this water is boiling. Ciao!

Here's some ear candy, I heard this song a few times today and it's stuck in my head.

I'm looking for someone, but not just anybody...

I thought that line was appropriate.
I think people, I'm not gonna even say guys, people need to reevaluate themselves, because seriously....what the fuck? I'm not gonna even rant in this posting, I'm just simply gonna say...stop being pathetic. I'm definitely not trying to be cocky or anything like that, but I'm starting to see that I'm just too good for some people...they really don't even know who I am and don't even try to find out.

Anyway, I would say TGIF, but it's Saturday. I should've posted yesterday but I didn't so...thank god it's the weekend. I just want this next week of school to go buy quickly so I can party at the halloween party on Friday. Excited that it's in the Great Hall because I absolutely loveeee that place and I'll get to enjoy it with the crazy kids at my school, Tina, Mike, Ebony, Jazmin and Leonard. Such a gorgeous hall. Should be some fun.

Um let's see what's up this weekend, nothing really...was supposed to get my new door but idk if that's happening this weekend, lame.

Good note, I'm going to hang out tonight with some real friends of mine whom I've missed dearly.


Who remembers the movie On The Line with Lance Bass and Joey Fatone? So cheesy, but I guess it was cute, I just watched it and I remembered this song I loved from when it came out...have a listen.

Can we just kill all mosquitoes?

Really...what purpose do they have in life? Annoying little shits. I seriously have about 6 bites on one leg...is that necessary?

Anyway, that was my rant...I just opened my window and it smells like spam? Ew? It's making me nauseous.

I just got done with some psychology homework that I waited until today to do and it's due tomorrow, which is fine, cause it's done and really shouldn't have taken half the day that it did to do...but yeah, anyway...not much is really up...next week is the Salsa Mambo club's halloween party at school and I'm looking forward to it, it should be fun.

I met a cute french kid, and he has a little accent, the end. =]

I just thought I should post something considering I haven't written in a few days.
Funny thing, for my second paper in Web Discourse we either have to write a 5-7 page paper or blog about a topic that's important to us...or that's not...really it doesn't matter what we blog about, just an issue...we can either be real about it or pretend, which should be interesting. I'll probably blog, seems a little easier, then there's a 2 page paper explaining why we chose what we did and blah blah blah...anyway I've gotta run to the store then come back and scratch my mosquitoe bitten leg off.
Ciao...or au revoir rather <3.

I'm hooked on you, baby can't you see? ...hahaha...

So, last night was the Raposo show at Blaggard's Pub. Good stuff, the show was really good, the crowd was awesome, drinks were flowing and yeah it was def a success. Kudos to Raposo. It was such a random night. Joey Page a singer from Florida was there which was cool, he's such a chill kid. Adorable too, might I add. The most random thing ever, Matt Ballinger came haha, for some reason I thought this was so funny. It was all good though, he's a chill kid too. It was rather ironic because just yesterday morning I was going through my iTunes and I scrolled passed the Dream Street songs and I was like "Matt's the only one I haven't met." and there we go. However, I have not been able to get a picture with Mr. McCartney, little fucker. =] jk. Anyway, yeah it was just a really random yet, fun night.

Let's see, uhm, I got a B- on my Psych paper, which I'm accepting because that paper was ridiculous, well the math part was, that's probably what screwed me up. I'd say I'm doing pretty well in that class so I'm glad. I have another paper due on 27th of this month that I'm not looking forward to starting anytime soon. I have a Computer Literacy Autobiography for the second part of my English class, stupid, I swear. This should be easy though, definitely easier than the Literacy Autobiography, like I really remember how I learned to read and write...please. I should probably make an appointment at the writing center to go over my paper for the first part of the English class, since it's mandatory? I don't know. Blah I feel like I have so much work I'm forgetting about...I have to go over each class' syllabus. And blahhh that I have a World Humanities midterm soon...fuck my life...that class is so bogus.

For anyone struggling with weight issues, like you think you're too fat, no not the skinny girls who think they're fat...I mean the thick girls who don't feel comfortable in their bodies. I can relate, but you should check out the book Good In Bed by Jennifer Weiner. Good stuff.

Considering the title of this blog and in the spirits of last night's company, here's a blast from the past.

My hair smells like vanilla?

Yeah I don't know...anyway...I have a coldddddd. Go figure, the day I only wear a shortsleeve jacket with a cami underneath it's like the coldest day of the week. I just looked up how to get rid of a stuffed nose and there was this like chinese pressurepuncture thing and I did it and it actually did relieve my stuffed nose for a bit...it was interesting. Let's see let's see, what's new with me. Took my first psychology test on Friday and I got a 94, I think that's pretty badass. Didn't have school last Monday or Wednesday, that was sweet. Don't have school this Wednesday, thank you Jewish holidays. I don't have class on Monday because of Columbus Day...half yay Columbus and half fuck you Columbus, or no not even, fuck you City College...or CUNY? I don't know but Monday we don't have class, BUT Tuesday, when I usually don't have class, there's a Monday schedule, MEANING I'll have two long days from 12:30-9:15 back to back Tuesday and Wednesday, so that's pretty lame. What can you do? Nothing, but curse CUNY. Uhm, they should probably give us the exact date of which the seminars start, because I've gone there about twice and the teacher hasn't shown up and I rather not waste my life going this Friday and they still don't show up. There is a cute kid in my seminar class though, he's fun to look at. It's supposed to be a 7 week thing, once a week apparently starting in October and ending in December...so my guess is, it either starts the third of fourth week of October...I have no clue, but they're not very helpful. Um this friday, I have my Psychology recitation class, then I'll probably be at the WCCR (the college radio station I'm part of) for a bit then going to see Raposo at Blaggard's Pub which should be a fun time again. Speaking of WCCR, we have a few events coming up which should be a sweet time. The Salsa Mambo club of CCNY is having a Halloween party in the Great Hall which should be cool, Great Hall is freaking GORGEOUS, love that place. Our DJs are providing the musicaa, yay. On November 7th we're having an "Old School B-Boy" contest. Break dancers, DJs, graffitti artists, all on top of the Marshak Hall on the tennis courts, that should be fun too...yay. Then, there’s some charity Thanksgiving event at some club down here, downtown, but I’m not sure about that, all I know is that the cover is you donate some cans of food. Eh, other than that, not much is going on with me…I think I’m gonna go lay down and read for a bit, maybe do some homework, I’m not feeling too hot.

This song has been stuck in my head, enjoy.

I'm sharing a drink with a memory and a laugh with an empty seat...

So, last night I went to a little get together and needless to say, I was very intoxicated. It was kind of funny, I think that's the drunkest I've ever been, sad, but true. My weapon of choice was Bacardi Superior and cranberry and I actually stuck to it instead of jumping around to different things like I usually do. Of course with the exception of a few blackcherry Bacardi jello shots and two shots of Hennessy. Yeah, you're probably thinking "Wow, what an alcoholic." but really I'm not. I only really started drinking about two years ago, which is when I first got drunk. I've had alcohol before that, but never enough to get drunk. Anyway, last night was kind ridiculous, lol. I was starving before I left my house but didn't have time to get anything to eat so yeah, drinking on an empty stomach, I don't recommend it. Especially if you don't have a high tolerance for alcohol, luckily I do. If you're a lightweight and you don't drink responsibly, you'll end up with your head in the toilet. I've only thrown up from drinking on one occasion at a friend's birthday gathering. Someone I hadn't seen in forever told me I was too quiet and kept bringing me rum and cokes and then I had a beer and a half and some vodka...yeah...do NOT mix liquors, trust me on this one. And yeah, that night ended on a bad note, but I don't regret it, that's one lesson learned. Anyway, back to the alcohol tolerance. People watch me drink and they're like "Goddamn." Eh, what can I say? I'm not a lightweight at all. However, Bacardi Superior does its job. So after I left the gathering last night I was nervous about walking home, because usually, and this may sound weird but even drunk I can walk a better straight line than when I'm sober. Yesterday, I couldn't walk right at all. I had to like concentrate on the lines in the sidewalk. I was so glad when I finally made it to my apartment I was so tired by then. It was only about 3 something in the morning, it was so early. (Yes, early.) Time was going soooooo slow! I had just learned in Psychology that alcohol is a depressant, no freaking kidding, each time I looked at my phone for the time it'd be minutes from when I last checked even though it felt like an hour or two. I managed to take my make up off and take out my contacts successfully. When I attempted this that one occasion where I threw up I had so much trouble getting my contacts out that I scratched my eyeballs and they were red. I sat here a while trying to wait it out because I seriously thought that I wouldn't wake up this morning. But alas, here I am. I'm grateful that I don't get hangovers. So, if you're gonna drink, do it socially, eat, and do it responsibly.


I think this song is appropriate for this post. Check out Raposo @ Myspace.

Brand new car, brand new feet, brand new seats, brand new smell...

Yes, yes...the title says it all. After my mom's van died completely she donated it and today she...ermm WE (:-p) got a new car. It's a 2009 Ford Focus and it's love. Haha I took a set of keys, but I should probably get my license first...that'd be best. For now I'll test drive it until I'm ready to take my road test...but let's just take a look at this ebony beauty shall we?

(Black instead of red)

Too much Beyonce? I'll say...

Okay, let's see here...my initial reaction was "What...the...f.ck...?" I thought I'd laugh during this video, but I just found myself shaking my head. Trust me, I'm the most open-minded person ever, but if this kid doesn't grow up to be the biggest voguing diva of all time, I don't know what he'll make of himself. What the hell....haha okay now I'll laugh...but I mean really...poor kid, he just goes into those splits so gracefully.

Questions, comments, concerns? Feel free.

Frozen grapes, Secret Life of Bees, Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist and Womanizer

In of my classes we had to analyze a blog and the one I chose was a pro-Ana blog, the blogger always mentioned how she had half a cup of frozen grapes. I googled frozen grapes and apparently they're a hit with a lot of people. People say it makes them sweeter and they're good for when you're on a diet. Well I bought a bag of grapes and froze them overnight, they're interesting I'll admit. Pretty tasty, but hard to eat if you have sensitive teeth like I do. They don't freeze all the way through so the inside are somewhat firm but more slush-like. I guess I give them a thumbs up. They take a little time to eat because they're so cold, so enjoy. Better yet, once you take them out of the freezer, let them sit for a few minutes so they can defrost a bit, it makes it a little easier. =)

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When I was in 10th grade my earth science teacher gave me a book to read, The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. Long story short, a young caucasian girl and her african american maid run away and seek refuge with three honey making sisters. Anyway I thought the book was really good and now....dun dun dun of course they're making a movie for it that's out on October 17, 2008. I was a little upset at first, because I felt that a film would ruin it. However, now I'm a little interested in seeing what comes of it, considering it's been about four years since I've read the book. Some big celebrities starring in the movie are Dakota Fanning (Lilly Owens), Jennifer Hudson (Rosaleen Daise), Queen Latifah (August Boatwright) and Alicia Keys (June Boatwright). I guess I'm looking forward to seeing it. I really did like the book. If you ever have the time go check it out.

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Another book I read sometime last year was Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist by Rachel Cohn and David Levithan. I really liked this book as well, sure it's a teenish book but hey that's what I like. =) Typical, boy meets girl, fall for eachother blah blah blah...anyway, you should read it. It's cute. Anyway, this is another book to movie deal. The movie comes out this Friday (October 3, 2008) and I actually wanna see it, and I need to find someone to go see it with, because I don't go to the movies alone. One thing I'm notttttttt looking forward to is that they pretty much switched the main beginning of the book. If you've read it, you know what I'm talking about. Nick asks Norah to be his girlfriend for five minutes so Tris (Nick's ex-girlfriend) doesn't see him alone. Well, in the movie they swap that and Norah asks Nick instead. I thought that was stupid, but let's see what they do with it. Another thing, while Nick's bandmates are bringing Norah's friend home, they get lost. In the movie, they lose her. I think I like that idea better, it looks funny from the commercials. (which I just so happen to hear on the TV as I type this) So yeah, that's that.
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Now for some musica. The latest from Britney Spears, I'm sure if not all, mostly everyone has heard Britney's new single "Womanizer." I must say, I kinda dig it. I'm SO glad that you hear more of her natural voice rather than that animated digitized garbage on her 'Blackout' album. Ugh, seriously that CD disppointed me. HOPEFULLY we'll get a ballad or two on Brit's next album. That was the main thing that turned me off of 'Blackout.' Anyway, 'Womanizer' is yet again another one of those dance/pop songs but it's not that bad at all, I don't change the station when it's on, so that's a good sign. I'm looking forward to seeing what else Britney has coming for us. She's looking much better these days, kudos Brit.

Take a listen to the song below.

Womanizer - Britney Spears

Chbosky vs. Salinger

Browsing my class blog I noticed a link posted on the left side linking to the American Library Association's list of banned/challenged books. Upon the list I noticed a title of a book I had just finished reading last night. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky, a coming-of-age tale written in the form of letters. Okay this may sound weird, but, do you know the feeling you get when you just finish a great book? I describe it as an orgasm of the mind, a mindgasm, if I may. I love that feeling and I got that feeling with this book. Now, I've read The Catcher in the Rye by J.D Salinger, and I didn't feel that. Not to say the book was bad, I know for some people it's life changing, maybe I was too young to understand, but the book confused me. In 'Perks' towards the end of one of Charlie's letters he writes, "Bill gave me one book to read over the break. It's The Catcher in The Rye. It was Bill's favorite book when he was my age. He said it was the kind of book you made your own. I read the first twenty pages. I don't know how I feel about it just yet, but it does seem appropriate to this time..." The kind of book you made your own, I think I'd definitely have to agree with that. However, I don't think I read enough into it to make some kind of connection to the 'Catcher.' I might just have to give it another read. Not to really say I identified with Charlie in 'Perks' but I did understand some of the things he would write about. As for Holden, from what I can remember while reading, I thought he was strange. Both novels share the unconventional characteristic, but I would have to say I did enjoy 'Perks' a lot more. This probably would also be, because I'm a lot more level headed, older and have more of a mature mind than I did when I read 'Catcher'. 'Perks' is ideally not for everyone, but I don't think it should be banned in schools, especially high schools. A place where kids face the kinds of things the main character goes through, on a daily basis. Sex and sexual identity, drugs, alcohol, suicide and just the social casualties of life. I think they should much rather be aware than shut out completely and be blind when faced with any of those situations. Overall, I give The Perks of Being a Wallflower a thumbs up. Also, I'm thinking I should give Salinger another try, it might make a lot more sense now.

Here are some quotes that stuck out to me in 'Perks' that I'd just like to respond to.

"So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be."

-This to me describes the life of if not all, most teenagers, even adults. There are ups, there are downs, there's the questioning and confusion of how you could be living in both emotions and why. It is possible to feel both and it's important to not let either one consume you entirely. Both can be a restriction on your life. Whether sad or happy, most would prefer the latter, but you know that quote "It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all."? To me, it's kind of like that. Being sad of course isn't fun, but it could help put life into perspective. What's really worth your time, happiness or pain?

"Something really is wrong with me. And I don't know what it is."

-Somewhat same as the first quote, I'm sure if not all, most people have said or thought this to themselves, I definitely have. It doesn't have to be a mental disorder, but just something bothering you that you just can't put your finger on. One thing, don't just allow people to tell you something is wrong with you, or tell you you're a freak and believe it. Once you recognize it, whether bad or good, you're starting to identify with yourself and that's good. If you truly believe you have a mental disorder, talk to someone, as much as you protest, it can help things. I decided not to talk to someone when I had problems and it ended up badly. I won't get into that right now, maybe some other time.

"We accept the love we think we deserve."

-This was at the point of the book where Charlie is talking about his Aunt Helen's troubles in life with abusive husbands and what not, but it is very true. If you don't feel you're worth it, you won't accept anything better than what you think you can find. This leads me to the next quote...

"Everything can't be self-esteem, can it?"

-This is at a completely different part of the book but it can be related. If you can't love yourself how can someone else? Confidence is important. Not the cocky "I think I'm the sh.t, I'm so hot" confidence, but the confidence where you can say to yourself "I am worth it." or when you can believe in yourself. Nothing will get better if you don't allow it to and if you don't allow it in yourself to see that you deserve better.

“Sam and Patrick looked at me. And I looked at them. And I think they knew. Not anything specific really. They just knew. And I think that's all you can ever ask from a friend."

-When you find that person who can look at you and know what you’re feeling, hold onto them. This is a person who you’ll be able to confide in. This is the person who despite all your quirks will still be there when everyone else goes away. This is the person who although doesn’t necessarily shout it to the world, does care about you. You’ll notice it in the smallest gestures, in things that they say that normally people wouldn’t think twice about. Also, even if you don’t realize it right away, you’re that person for someone else. If you have friends, cherish them. Don’t be a fake, and people don’t waste your time with fakes. Choose your friends wisely, I don’t know how much I or anyone else can stress that. Don’t be susceptible to people who are only interested in what you have or what you can give them. Those are not your friends. And be careful, everyone is an actor in some way or another.

“And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.”

-When you have that moment, remember it. Fabulous line, the end.

“I have to stop writing now because I am too sad.”

-Just kidding, but it’s a nice touch, eh? =)

America's Got Talent...or do we?

So, after introducing myself to Tokio Hotel, (Germany based band that have recently broke out into the American mainstream) I gained an appreciation for foreign music. A friend of mine, Megan, told me about this band, they have about like 3 different names with abbreviations to match so I'll just stick with Dong Bang Shin Ki (DBSK). Heard of them? They're a Korean boyband pretty much. They have a Japanese album under the name Tohoshinki (TVXQ). Their voices are gorgeous, they harmonize so well. I couldn't believe it. Not to say I underestimated artists from other countries, but being used to just hearing what's out now here and then comparing it to what they can do is such a huge difference. Although I don't understand what they're saying, some of their songs are a lot more enjoyable to listen to than those from American artists. At the end of this post I'll post my absolute favorite song by DBSK titled "Whatever They Say" it's the a capella version just because you can hear them naturally without the music behind them and it's stunning. It honestly makes me disappointed in American music. Don't get me wrong, there are fabulous people here but I think they'd have a run for their money if more music from other countries emerged.

Left to right: Junsu (Xiah), Yoochun (Micky), JaeJoong (Hero), Changmin (Max), Yunho (UKnow)



Step it up America!

Mini rant...

Well, this isn't my ideal first post, however I felt the need to rant.

First and foremost...it is 4 in the morning and I just got done writing a paper.
Psychology, sure it's a science and science deals with some math, but w..t..f at the correlation method? I had to write a paper pretty much based on this, the first half of the paper was fine, answering questions, blah blah and describe the parts and function of the brain, lalala and what not. I get to the fourth paragraph and it's like "compute such and such" and I'm like "Whoaaaa, buddy." It took me forever, most of the time was wasted because I realized that I had left out a whole step so it pretty made no sense to keep going. I attempted to do it all by hand and I just about pulled my hair out. It was suggested that we used excel to find some answers, no clue. I've never used excel before today, so trying to figure that out was a chore. However, I think I found the answers they were looking for, hopefully. If not, honestly, there's really nothing I can do at this point. It was a mind fuck. Luckily I can safely say that the paper is done and I'll submit it sometime tomorrow, erm...today since it's due Monday before 5pm.

And another thing, in the instructions we got for the paper it says that it shouldn't exceed four pages, lovely. Well, with all the explaining and describing the paper asked of us my paper exceeded four pages. My first paragraph alone was 2 pages. There's really no way to shorten it at all, it was pretty much outlined for us, we answered questions in the sequence they were asked. I don't know if the people grading the papers will read passed the fourth page, but really...don't assign a paper that will end up being longer than you'd hope. It kicked my ass, but I'm glad I got it done. Now, hopefully I'll get a good grade on it, or that'll be really annoying.


On a happier note, I bought a pair of jeans, a new pair of ballet flats, and a short sleeve jacket today. =) Tomorrow, I believe I'm heading out to Jersey again to pick up these boots I've been dying for. I drove out there today to a different mall and they were completely sold out in black and were only available in a size 12. Seriously now, what female has a size 12 foot? I mean unless you're related to big foot, or you're a ginormous athlete in deperate need for cute boots I don't see those selling too well.

Seeing as it's almost 4:30 and I'm tired, I suppose I'll end this here. More tomorrow, erm...today...