Sing to me the plans that you have for me over again...

Monday morning I was walking to the M8 bus and this spanish man with a walker stops me and asks where Astor Place is and how he can get there. He wasn't an old man so I instantly wondered, what was wrong with him and for what reason did he need this walker. I tell him how to get there via walking and he says "I have an ulcer, I can't walk there." and so I understood. I told him he could get on the M8 and take it to fourth avenue. He thanks me and I proceed across the street to wait for the bus, I turn my iPod on and go about my morning, or so I thought. As I'm standing there I see this man in my peripheral vision and he stops near me and sits on the walker (it was one of those with the seats attached) and he looks at me and starts talking. So I shut my iPod off and I asked him what it was he said and from that moment on I learned stuff about him you wouldn't generally learn about someone in the first 20 minutes or so of meeting them. I learned that since he has an ulcer his intestines are all screwed up and his bowel movements can't exactly be controlled or held for that matter. He tells me this brief story of how a few days ago he was trying to keep it in until he got to his apartment but it just wasn't going to happen. It was at night and apparently no one was really around so he had to squat between a car and a motorcycle. He continued with "I'm not a homophobic, you like what you like." and then told me how a visibly "butch" woman saw him and said "I should kick you in the face." to which he responded with the likes of "Of all I've been through, you're going to kick me in the face?" he then told her if she kicked him in the face he'd grab her by her scrawny neck and shove her into the pile he just left on the street and she'd be wearing it as make up. Just to emphasize his anger he followed with "If you're going to look and talk to me like a man, I'm gonna treat and kick your ass like a man." or something of that nature. I honestly didn't think it was necessary for her to say she should kick him in the face, of course someone defacating on the street would catch me off guard and turn me off as well but you never know what someone is going through. I learned that he's been shot about 10 times throughout his life, there were wound scars on his hands and arms of which I could see. He was on various drugs for a while. After his brother died he became an alcoholic but has been through counseling and rehab for his alcohol and substance abuse. He asked me if I was on my way to work and I told him that I wasn't, I was actually on my way to school. He asked what I studied and I told him I was hoping to get a Psychology degree. "That's good, a lot of money." he said. After that he told me about how he met his second wife, apparently she was one of his counselors during his alcohol and drug addiction and even though it was against the rules, they fell in love. They went to Vegas and got married then skinny dipped and partied with a bunch of people afterwards. Now of course I don't know if any of this is made up, it could very well be, but for whatever reason I kept talking to this man, well I kept listening to him. As the bus was approaching I thought our conversation was over and he started moving towards the back of the bus so the driver could let him up on the backdoor lift. I got onto the bus and took my usual seat up front. When he was on the bus and situated he signaled me over. Any normal person would've ignored it and stayed put but for some reason I got up and I sat next to him. I don't wanna say I felt bad for him because I don't think he was looking for pity in any way, I just think he needed someone to talk to and I didn't mind being that person even if it was for the short amount of time it was. Somtimes all someone needs is to just let it all out and all they want is someone to listen to them. I gave him some input where I felt necessary but other than that I let him talk. He told me that he thought it was hard to meet people nowadays and I told him that I think some people set their standards way too high to make it impossible to meet anyone and that people are extremely too superficial. Listening to him I got a little sad and all I did was want to give him a hug but I refrained, I thought that would be a little weird. While he spoke I noticed a hint of sadness and hurt in his pretty light brown/hazel eyes. As we approached my stop he asked me my name and I told him. "Olivia? That's nice." he said. I asked his name and he told me it was Anzel (I don't know if I'm spelling that right) and that it was a Jewish name. "If I was born during the Holocaust, Hitler would've thrown me in the oven." which I actually did laugh at because he was reinacting what that scene would've been like "No!" he would shout "I'm Puerto Rican! I speak Spanish!" and then he said something in Spanish that I can't remember and it was honestly funny the way he joked about it. "Well, we'll probably see eachother again." he told me and I smiled and nodded. The bus came to my stop and he wished me a good day and I returned it. He was honestly a very nice guy, with problems of course, but a genuinely nice person. I hope I do see him again, just so I know he's doing okay. This short but healthy conversation I had with him reassured me that Psychology is the career path that I want to be in. Not because it's financially rewarding but I love the idea of trying to help people in anyway that I can. With small problems, with big problems, medical problems...if I can't physically do something I'm there to listen. Sometimes all you need is someone to talk to.

Wherever you are Anzel, take care buddy.


This song is in one of my favorite movies of all time "A Walk To Remember" and I love it, it's stuck in my head and I guess it's necessary.